Good Conversation
by rameau
Summary: Two oldest members of the Cullen family sit down and talk about their brother. SLASH


**SLASH BACKSLASH ONE-SHOT CONTEST**

**Story Name: Good Conversation  
Pen name: rameau  
Pairing: Carlisle/Aro, Carlisle/Edward, Jasper/Edward  
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the characters introduced in it. Nor do I own the title of this fic. **

**To see other entries in the "SLASH BACKSLASH" contest, please visit the C2: ****http ://www. fanfiction. net/c2/74941/3/0/1/**

**Good Conversation**

A/N: Yes, that's a title of a Boyzone song from their only album I own. So sue me. Please don't. Rest in Peace Stephen Gately.

This story takes place after the scene in New Moon where the Cullens voted for Bella to join their family, but it isn't canon.

Special shout-out goes to my beta and friend Nolebucgrl who isn't a fan of slash. Thank you for reading this and pointing out my errors even if I did call your precious Edward vain.

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Carlisle was in his office searching for a particular volume of cardiovascular diseases. He needed it to prove his point to an obstinate colleague. Usually his medical books were safe from the interest of other family members but today he found himself at a loss because the book he was holding had nothing to do with medicine. Instead it was the perfect example of Tuscan vernacular circa 1750. Unbidden a memory of how he became to own this manuscript came to him. A shudder ran through his frame.

The door was opened and shut again.

Neither spoke for a while and an unnatural silence engulfed them. When Carlisle turned, he saw his brother stand on the other side of the room. Jasper returned Carlisle's golden gaze with his head tilted little right and his eyes almost shut.

"What were you thinking when I walked in?"

Carlisle hesitated. Jasper could read his emotions but he couldn't read his mind.

"Edward is with Bella, at her home."

Or maybe he could. Carlisle shook his head trying to rid himself of the memories flooding his mind. He held up the book as if it explained everything. To his relief Jasper nodded.

"Someone you loved gave you that."

"Yes", Carlisle pushed out an unnecessary breath and forced himself to calm, "A very long time ago."

"That explains it."

"Explains what?"

"The faint longing and the sense of loss emanating from you. Did he die?" Jasper saw the crinkle form on Carlisle brow and clarified himself, "The person who gave you that book. Did he die?"

This wasn't the first time Carlisle felt the urge to lie. He fought it and shook his head. "No, he didn't die."

Jasper could feel that Carlisle was holding something back but this wasn't the right time to address it. There was a reason why he had invaded his brother's personal space. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"About what?" Carlisle asked automatically. The pervasive concern for Jasper's internal battle took precedence over old and forgotten memories haunting him. To his surprise, Carlisle saw Jasper shake his head lightly and gesture for him to sit before taking his seat opposite him.

"This isn't the easiest of subjects. I don't know where to begin."

"Jasper, you are the one I never expected to try my patience, not like this. Spit it out." The men grinned at each other and the preternatural likeness intensified.

"Earlier, when we were talking, voting about Bella joining this family, I-"

"You what?"

"I thought I sensed", Jasper halted for a fraction of eternity during which all uncertainty was removed from his mind, "You were jealous."

"I was?" Taken aback Carlisle thought back to the discussion they'd had. He didn't remember a sting of jealousy but then again, he hadn't been paying that much attention to his own emotions.

"You were. And I was curious as to why exactly would you feel that way, towards Bella."

This was starting to make sense in a peculiar way. Carlisle settled for a half-truth. "I have nothing against Bella, she's a sweet girl."

"I'm not denying that", Jasper hit back with military precision, "But that doesn't explain why you would feel jealousy. Is it because of Edward?"

His words were formed as a question but there wasn't any doubt in his voice. For the first time Carlisle chose to play dumb. "Why would I be jealous of someone who makes Edward happy?"

"I don't know. Maybe because that someone is a woman." Jasper cocked his eyebrow and waited in vain for a response. After a while, Jasper spoke again.

"Are you telling me you never thought about it? Are you telling me that wasn't part of the reason why you changed Edward? In hopes that he would be your true companion, in every sense of the word?"

Carlisle remained silent. He was still wading through two sets of memories when Jasper spoke again.

"Look Carlisle. You and I, we are the two oldest members of this family. We remember things others have happily forgotten, things they are glad never to have known in the first place. Don't lie to me. Don't tell me there wasn't a time when you- when you preferred the company of other men."

The patriarch of the family just looked up to his newest son, his brother. In his eyes was one question he couldn't bring himself to voice, not yet: _Did you?_

"I had my angels guarding me", Jasper grimaced at the mention of Maria, "but yes. There were times when I preferred to socialize with my own kind by the camp fires, with other unbreakable men."

"Italy", Carlisle sputtered almost interrupting Jasper's confession.

"Italy, really? May I ask who?"

Carlisle chuckled as his fingers gently caressed the tome still in his hands. "Aro always said we learned much from each other; I more from him than he from me." Turning to his brother Carlisle added. "Why do you think he let me go when I decided to leave Volterra?"

Jasper leaned back in his chair trying to process the information he had just been given when his brother decided to open up and continue with his story.

"My father didn't only persecute supernatural evil", Carlisle sighed, "I was also taught that homosexuality is a sin. I grew up thinking that lying with other men was a crime against God, an abomination, and a sure way to experience the fires of hell. I survived the flames of hell and emerged to this new life purged of all the sins I hadn't committed. I was an abomination and I tried to sin against God by ending my unnatural existence."

Fascinated by the change in the emotional climate and Carlisle's expression, Jasper leaned in closer waiting to hear more.

"I ended up re-evaluating many of my beliefs instilled in me. It took decades but eventually I learned to see men loving other men as just that, as another form of love. And not only to see, but to experience it as well."

And just like that the memories came back and suddenly Carlisle was lying on lush bedding looking up adoringly to the older vampire.

_He reached up and gathered his lover's long black hair in his fist as the cool fingers traced up his abdomen. Carlisle could only imagine how it felt for his partner, when he was drowning in his own sensations. _

_"I have something for you," his lover said still hovering over his naked body._

_"What? You didn't need to get me anything. All I want is you", Carlisle emphasized his word by pushing himself up and nibbling the older man's lower lip._

_"And you shall have me, later", Aro laughed. "But first." Carlisle watched as the delicate, stony frame moved fluidly to stretch across the bed. Behind the side table had been hidden a small package wrapped in the most expensive silk. Abruptly he sat up and took the gift placed in his hands. Carefully Carlisle opened the wrapping knowing how frustrated he was making his lover. Aro wanted to see him lose control and rip the fabric but was rewarded only with a wide, happy smile. _

_"Poetry?"_

_"Each verse reminds me of you."_

_Carlisle looked up and saw sincerity in the blood red eyes. He lowered his head and whispered: "Thank you."_

_"Now, you can show me just how grateful you are." Carlisle guffawed and the tome was forgotten while he learned to love again._

"Carlisle!" The demanding voice dragged him out of the image in his head and back to the present. Carlisle glanced at Jasper and saw him squirm.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't", Jasper shook his head, "Don't be sorry. I'm just not used to the unleashed lust emanating from you. When you're with Esme, the love always outshines the passion and makes it tolerable, but what you felt just now, all I can say is wow."

"It was an intense period of my life."

"I can believe it. Especially, if it was only an echo of a memory I felt from you just now."

"It was", Carlisle nodded again, "and I think that's the reason he finally let me go. When we couldn't come to an agreement about our chosen diets, he could have killed me but instead he let me leave and suffered me to exist apart from him. He still suffers it."

Jasper rearranged the facts in his head and scolded himself for not seeing the obvious truth of the situation earlier. The Volturi knew about their large, gifted coven and they were nowhere to be seen. Aro must have loved Carlisle deeply to allow him have his dream, a family. But he would have to think of it more another time. It was time to return to their earlier topic. "What about Edward?"

"Edward?" Carlisle was still buried too deep in his early years to understand what Jasper implied.

"Yes, Edward. Did you want him to be your lover?"

"I never really gave myself the chance to dwell on the possibility. At first it was about saving the young boy who never really had a chance to live and then it became about finding myself a companion, someone who knew all my secrets. Someone, I could openly discuss everything with. But he was so young when he was transformed, I didn't think he was ready to contemplate such options. Maybe in time he could have, maybe we would have... and then there was his ability to consider. His ability and the stress it caused him along with the bloodlust. Edward was still in his newborn phase barely controlling his strength and urges when Esme, joined us. With her my world changed and all thoughts of Edward sharing my life fully became irrelevant."

"But you still love Edward, differently from the others."

"He'll always have a special place in my heart," Carlisle admitted.

"So are you jealous?" Jasper asked again already knowing the answer.

Carlisle lifted the corner of his mouth. "Yes, I am jealous. Aren't you?"

The comment caused Jasper to lean back and rest his head against the backrest of the chair. His eyes fell shut as images of fires long since smothered lit his eyelids from the inside. He remembered the songs that had been sung, the idle chatter that had echoed around the campfire and the hasty excursions he too had participated in the shadows beyond preternatural earshot. He remembered hands on iron-like shafts, overflowing venom and teeth branding him in passion instead of battle. He remembered countless faces and moments of intimacy. He remembered animalistic lust and he remembered ferocious acts.

And then there was this young, beautiful boy whom Jasper's wife adored: A beautiful, unchanging, slender figure that could tempt any man, woman and vampire alike until he made the mistake of opening his mouth. No, that was too harshly put. Edward wasn't intolerable but he didn't make it easy for people to like or love him. He was self-loathing to the point of vanity and an inconsiderate fool who thought that being able read people's mundane thoughts told him everything there was to know about humanity. But if that had been all Jasper saw under the pretty exterior, he would have been guilty of the same crime he accused Edward of.

Jasper saw perfection under the disguise of malformed exterior of a monster and self-loathing warped mind. Somewhere there had been a spark of happiness, a seed of love and the substrate for it waiting for the right person to help them grow and flourish. And that person had been Bella. Despite all their efforts none of the family members had been able to reach that side of Edward before that silent girl. Carlisle's unwavering patience hadn't been rewarded nor had Esme's boundless love. Emmett hadn't managed to irritate Edward into lighter mood permanently nor had Rosalie been eligible to be his mate. Alice despite her countless attempts to drag Edward out of his misery was too much alike him to counteract his moodiness and Jasper's gift had only masked his brother's unhappiness.

There was no hiding his thoughts around Edward, but Jasper hadn't mastered the art of avoidance or half-truths enough to gently guide his brother towards something different. Edward was still too young and inexperienced to appreciate or to even consider what he had been offered. And so Jasper had failed his brother and his wife, because there wasn't anything Alice would have liked more than to give Edward a little taste of happiness.

Correcting his posture Jasper moved to sit up straight in his chair and turned to look at his brother again. Carlisle would never be his father. It was difficult enough to view him as a brother. Twitching his lips and ridding himself of the image of marble white flesh Jasper finally said: "Yes, I'm jealous too."


End file.
